Maybe a bit of the old competitive spirit will get me up in the high hopes again. After all, everyone loves to color like a two-year-old every so often.

My little contest may not offer a subscription being I could never afford one, or any kind of fancy-pants things, but I could most definitely do art of your choice. I could do most anything, but I am not that good with animals or anthro characters... I slightly detest the 'furry' creature-humanoid things. Anyway... I will post a scribble-picture, and you may color it! But, only my friends and watchers may do this, being that I do not want strangers taking my random work and claiming it as their own. That would be a tragedy for them, because I tend to be a bit of a hunter.

So, yes. I can post a picture, and you will color it. If you do not have photoshop or any of the likes, there is a simple solution: PRINT AND COLOR! Print out the picture and color it with colored pencils! Who knows, it could look three times as amazing as computer graphics! I would greatly appreciate at least two people to try their hand at this, and I do need something to draw being as I cannot think anything up for the life of me... If I am lucky to have more than three competitors, then I will do first, second and third place runners up and do pictures for all three of them. It is the least I can offer.

Please, take a bit of time to mull this over and either note me or comment if you want to join in.

I cannot waste the time to think of a title for this... Crap. I have hidden so much pain behind this smile of mine, and I simply cannot let it out. I have tried to convince myself to talk to someone, and I know I have friends whom I can trust and talk to... However, I am much too afraid of everything around me to open my mouth and talk! This whole life of mine is a mess and I need to fix it, I need to do something about myself. I am often misunderstood and scorned for being who I am and liking what I like, and I find that it is wiser to keep my mouth shut and not talk about myself around my so called friends.

I do not know what else to do, I have confronted my mother and all she has told me was to do my work and try to fix things myself. That was not the answer or comfort I needed, and I really... I really need something right now to get rid of all this pent up anger, depression, sadness, pain and yearning. My next step is to see a therapist.

My mind is also telling me that another reason why I am so unhappy is my body. I hate how I look and I hate my body. I hate being a girl. I do not fit in at all. I feel that I was meant to be born in the body of a boy, not a girl, and it hurts. If and when I do manage to get the money, or I reach the age where I still feel this way, there is nothing stopping me from changing my gender... I do not want to be a girl, at all. I know this sounds completely outrageous to some of the friends who actually know me, but to those who take the time to consider how I feel, and those who have known me for a long time might realize that I am not just saying this because I am a lesbian or I like girls. If one were to look at the body I have and to look at me from a distance, I look like a boy. I enjoy looking and acting like a boy. My parents tell me to act like a young lady, I do not want to, I act like a boy.

I have spoken to me aunt about this many a time, and she has told me that if it is what I truly want, that I should do it, and I will do it. I am prepared to lose many friends because of my insane decision making, but it is who I want to be... I will not let anyone control me ever again. I can say, fuck society and fuck everyone else, all my emotions have finally broken my calm smile that I had behind and I have driven myself into a ten foot deep hole. I have finally snapped. My heart has been broken so many times, I have been backstabbed so many times, I have been HURT one too many times. I am fed up with everything, and now I have gotten it off my chest.

It seems that lately the stress of every single thing I do is becoming insurmountable. I do not know why, or how, this has happened. It seems I have driven myself into a corner of which I cannot escape, all my past mistakes and trials weighing heavily upon my shoulders. It thus making me suffer depression. Behind this I hid with a smile and a wave, a healthy conscience of which relied on my friends to aid me. Yet, ever so regretfully I have dragged myself away from them and the laughter which I once took part in no longer aids my aching heart.

A friend is what I seek, someone to actually be there for me, which I know I might find in any of those who I surround myself with... However not one person could sooth this pain until I overcome it myself, and that is to let go of my past infatuation with a vague figure. Not family nor close friend was this person, and it hurt me ever so when we let go. I know that at with my current aspirations that my dreams will never come true, and this struggling economy will drive me to insanity. So I ask, what has happened to me?

Something terrible. Of course I will soon fix this, I wish to do so, and I must seek the comfort of my friends and family in order to overcome this pain. I do love you all so dearly and I will continue to hide this with a smile and a wave, and spill my broken hearts' emotions to whomever offers their open arms to me, or to whoever I know will break my fall.

My friends have organized a nice little site that hosts Rp's. They are highly complex and we do expect you to be on par with our expectations.

The name of this site is called Common Difference, and the main plot of this site is quite jumpy, and it does not have a main backstory just yet. However they are allowing you to post plotlines of your own characters as they should be.

Rules of the site are here: [link]
MAKE SURE YOU READ ALL THREE TOPICS THOROUGHLY

Please be very serious when signing up, and if you take it as a joke and decide to become a spammer/flamer/joker, we will ban you immediately.

Character posting and character sheets are here: [link]
When posting a new character, please start a new topic and do what the sheet instructs, which can be found here: [link] Thank you.

You must wait for the approval of your character before posting, and one of the admins will reply to your topic telling you if your character is all right. You may request for canon characters, but you must PM one of the admins or ask through your Bio or post in the request forums.

You must do a "face-claim" for you character: You may choose from celebrities who closely match your character or, if you have a drawing of one, you may use that as well. The face-claim forum can be found here: [link]
Please check for whom is already taken so you know who you can still choose from.

We would be delighted to gain even more members, but please adhere to all rules posted there and what I have mentioned in this journal.

Common Difference: [link]

Hello everyone. I know I have not been updating regularly, but a lot has been going on in the past two weeks. I was lucky enough to get the last few pictures up.

Earlier this month I was told I was going in for surgery. I dreaded it greatly being that we can not afford much and the surgery itself would be painstakingly long, also that I was gravely afraid of going under the knife.

But I am very glad to say that the surgery went well and that I will be alright, just as long as I do not stress myself or strain my body in any which way. I do try not to, but, as I am known to be, I am easily excited.

I will take this chance to wish you all a merry late Christmas, I hope you all enjoyed your day, and a happy New Year.